Ladies, Father’s day is not about you!

black-father-and-daughterIt is FATHER’S day this time, Ladies, Mother’s day has passed. So no disrespect at all to all you strong, hard working single mothers, but this is not YOUR day! If for whatever reason, you don’t have your child’s father around in your life, take some time and reflect on this. We can all cry that, “he’s a no good, this and that”, but…is he really? Has he always been that way? Why would you decide to have a child for someone that was? Did he show you whom he was and did you just not listen because he was too good looking, the sex was too good, it’s what you thought you wanted at the time, or because all of your other friends had men or children? This is what I would be looking at, instead of glorifying the ‘father’ my single mother self is, I would be looking at what indicators did I totally miss as I decided it was a good idea to have a child with this person. And yes I said “decided”, because in this day and age, having children is MOST of the time a decision that BOTH parties make. Women, we are more in control of our bodies than we realize. We can encourage the man to wear a condom, but we also can be on the birth control pill (99% success rate IF used EXACTLY as directed). That way, when people want to use the excuse that it broke, we are protected. Anywho, use a condom people. If not for avoiding having children with people you don’t want to stay connected with for the next 18 years of you, and your child’s life, do it at least for the sake of avoiding catching an STD. STDs are real and prevalent. Anywho, this wasn’t meant to be a sex ed post, it was to just acknowledge all the GOOD fathers out there who’s light gets dimmed by women trying to down them and up themselves on father’s day. It was just a month ago you had yours, ladies. A month ago where my BBM status updates and FaceBook wall was ridden with nice messages about mom, beautiful photos with all of your mothers….and now…father’s day….I think there’s a total of 3 on my BBM (one which is my own) and a few more on FB (one of his father in his jail cell…but he has no choice, that’s the only image of his father that he’s known). This is some sad shit everyone. Let’s get it together. Think LOGICALLY who you have children with. There are ALWAYS warning signs of people with bad character. Men who run off on their children have bad character. Stop laying around with everyone you meet. That is not sexual liberation, it is extremely dangerous. And finally, to all the good fathers out there who’ve been fathers, and not just weekend fathers, but the one’s who are there and awake when their daughter has a nightmare, who are there cleaning up vomit from their shirt, who find the energy to play with their child after a long, hard day at work, for the ones who support their child(ren) physically, financially, mentally, spiritually, academically…your actions have not gone unnoticed. And even if your child(ren) doesn’t recognize them now, I guarantee they will later. So here’s a big THANK YOU for all that you have done, all that you do, and the things you will continue to do to help raise beautiful, successful, healthy, strong children. So to you amazing men, we say, Happy Father’s Day!

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