The other day, I was at the pool, wearing a bikini. A beautiful woman, who was extremely toned, walked towards me and randomly said, “You have a great body.” I was in total shock, not because I think there is something wrong with my body, but because her’s was nicer than mine – she was in great shape and very toned, so for her to recognize mine, seemed almost bizarre to me. I immediately responded, “Your body is great! You’re so toned.” She smiled and said thank you and reiterated that mine looked nice. I responded with a, “Yeah, but I really need to tone up.” She immediately responded, “Hun, just take the compliment!” Blood rushed to my cheeks, as I felt a bit silly, and finally said a simple, “thank you.” A simple 20 second conversation with a stranger made me think, why can’t we take compliments?
My reality is, I am usually pretty good at taking compliments. I’m usually flattered by them and will respond with a genuine, “Oh, thank you.” But sometimes, like in this case, I’m caught off guard – in regards to the actual compliment given, or the person who is giving it (i.e. stranger, co-worker, someone who NEVER gives compliments, etc.) This specific incident caught me off guard for both of the above mentioned reasons, and because, how could someone with a ‘better body’ (perspective is everything), consider mine good enough to stop me, a stranger, and actually say it out loud? Either way, her final comment, “Hun, just take the compliment” spoke to me; because although I rarely have that problem, I think way too many women respond the way that I did in that particular situation. We don’t tend to take compliments well.
So, for those who struggle to, here’s a quick visual on how to accept a compliment.
Here’s another visual that briefly explains why we shouldn’t dismiss them, and why it is important for us to learn to accept them gracefully.
So, what is the problem?
Why do we tend to dismiss and/or downplay ourselves when we are complimented?
Maybe the problem is the compliment doesn’t coincide with our own thoughts – with what is going on in our own mind.
Maybe it’s a self-esteem issue.
Or…maybe we’re just trying to be modest because we’re scared of something like this happening.
I can’t say this enough, there’s a huge difference between being self-confident and being vain, as seen in the image above comparing low self esteem, self-confidence, and vanity. There is definitely something wrong with the latter, but there is nothing wrong with loving yourself and being confident and happy with who you are. Don’t let anyone ever fool you into thinking that there is something wrong with that (see a previous post where someone attempted to do that to me https://naturallymia.wordpress.com/2014/08/06/vanity-self-esteem-love-am-i-vain/).
As always, thanks for reading, lovelies. Accept the compliment, and pass it on. 😉